"God dammit, Donut."
Whether you’re slicing through a stubborn loaf of bread or prepping a feast fit for a Princess Posse, this artisanal cutting board brings the chaos of the World Dungeon straight to your kitchen. Hand-crafted to replicate the cover of Matt Dinniman’s first installment in the Dungeon Crawler Carl series, this isn’t just a kitchen tool—it’s a legendary loot drop.
Craftsmanship That Survives the 1st Floor
Every board is meticulously constructed using high-quality hardwoods, chosen for their durability and striking grain patterns. We’ve captured the iconic aesthetic of Book One, ensuring that the "cover" looks as good on your counter as it does on your bookshelf.
• Premium Materials: Features a stunning combination of deep tones and resilient fibers, perfect for heavy-duty prep or serving charcuterie.
• Laser-Engraved Detail: The title and cover elements are precision-engraved, creating a tactile, permanent design that won't fade, no matter how many goblins (or onions) you encounter.
• Knife-Friendly Surface: Designed to preserve your blades while resisting deep scarring, ensuring your gear stays sharp for the next level.
Product Specifications
• Dimensions: Approximately the size of a standard "tome," making it an ideal display piece or a functional workspace.
• Finish: Treated with RMP’s Half and Half Tung Oil
• Unique Grain: Because each board is handmade from natural timber, your specific "drop" will have its own unique character—no two crawlers have the same journey, and no two boards are identical.
The Ultimate Fan Collectible
This is the perfect gift for the Crawler in your life who has everything (except perhaps a pair of pants). It’s a conversation starter that says, "I survived the transformation, and all I got was this incredible cutting board."
Care Instructions: Hand wash only. Do not put in the dishwasher (the AI running the dungeon doesn't like appliances). Re-oil periodically to keep it looking pristine for the later floors.
Break the game. Buy the board.
"God dammit, Donut."
Whether you’re slicing through a stubborn loaf of bread or prepping a feast fit for a Princess Posse, this artisanal cutting board brings the chaos of the World Dungeon straight to your kitchen. Hand-crafted to replicate the cover of Matt Dinniman’s first installment in the Dungeon Crawler Carl series, this isn’t just a kitchen tool—it’s a legendary loot drop.
Craftsmanship That Survives the 1st Floor
Every board is meticulously constructed using high-quality hardwoods, chosen for their durability and striking grain patterns. We’ve captured the iconic aesthetic of Book One, ensuring that the "cover" looks as good on your counter as it does on your bookshelf.
• Premium Materials: Features a stunning combination of deep tones and resilient fibers, perfect for heavy-duty prep or serving charcuterie.
• Laser-Engraved Detail: The title and cover elements are precision-engraved, creating a tactile, permanent design that won't fade, no matter how many goblins (or onions) you encounter.
• Knife-Friendly Surface: Designed to preserve your blades while resisting deep scarring, ensuring your gear stays sharp for the next level.
Product Specifications
• Dimensions: Approximately the size of a standard "tome," making it an ideal display piece or a functional workspace.
• Finish: Treated with RMP’s Half and Half Tung Oil
• Unique Grain: Because each board is handmade from natural timber, your specific "drop" will have its own unique character—no two crawlers have the same journey, and no two boards are identical.
The Ultimate Fan Collectible
This is the perfect gift for the Crawler in your life who has everything (except perhaps a pair of pants). It’s a conversation starter that says, "I survived the transformation, and all I got was this incredible cutting board."
Care Instructions: Hand wash only. Do not put in the dishwasher (the AI running the dungeon doesn't like appliances). Re-oil periodically to keep it looking pristine for the later floors.
Break the game. Buy the board.
